


Dumb

by Kalidoscope666



Series: This number is not assigned [1]
Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:27:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23053195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalidoscope666/pseuds/Kalidoscope666
Summary: He felt so dumb sometimes. Not the way people tell themselves they’re dumb when they realize they forget their keys only after closing the door, this automatic self-deprecation that hurt less and less every time. Who can hurt you when you’ve already hurt yourself, after all?The answer is everyone, but that doesn’t matter. So yes, Junhoe felt dumb sometimes, and even if he knows this doesn’t impact his value, he can’t help but feel like shit in front of his grade transcript.He was going to have to re-do his second year of uni.
Relationships: Goo Junhoe/Kim Jinhwan
Series: This number is not assigned [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1656691
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	Dumb

**Author's Note:**

> This is purely self indulgent, and written in a go over not enough caffeine. I hope you'll like it anyway, and let me know if you'd be willing to see more of this universe because I've got a few more ideas involving the rest of the boys (mainly Hanbin, I need to fill the void) in my pocket.
> 
> That being said, I hope you enjoy!

He felt so dumb sometimes. Not the way people tell themselves they’re dumb when they realize they forget their keys only after closing the door, this automatic self-deprecation that hurt less and less every time. Who can hurt you when you’ve already hurt yourself, after all?

The answer is everyone, but that doesn’t matter. So yes, Junhoe felt dumb sometimes, and even if he knows this doesn’t impact his value, he can’t help but feel like shit in front of his grade transcript.

He was going to have to re-do his second year of uni. The thought left a bitter taste in his mouth, especially when he considers that they’re all going out to celebrate the end of the year. Chanwoo’s passed his first year of acting with excellent grades (he pretends he doesn’t study, but sometimes Junhoe can smell the coffee from the kitchen when he lies awake on his bed). Donghyuk’s started working for a dancing academy while continuing to take new classes. Hanbin’s been accepted in his dream master program, graduating from his music studies degree with honors. Bobby already has a job. Yunhyeong somehow manages acting studies, modelling as a part-time job and mothering all of them as a full time one. And jinhwan already has a bloody coffee shop. With employees.

And Junhoe failed his second year of university. Despite trying. Despite working hard. And he had no idea until reading his grade transcripts.

And he felt fucking dumb.

He bit his lip until he tasted blood, and felt twice as bad.

He should have known better than to think he might be good at something. If he really had talent, then why were people never moved by his poems? Why did his mom only smile and pat his head when he showed her the best things he’d done? Why had his dad always refused reading anything from him?

Because it was shit.

He took a deep breath and told himself there was no reason to be so self-depreciative, and to use bad memories as a tool to hurt himself more; he’d taken a minor in psychology and he would not be fooled by himself.

Oh, but he’d failed that minor, and he was a fool.

“You getting ready?”

Jinhwan sat on the bed, and Junhoe shoved the sheet in front of him into the bin. He might not be studying acting (hey, he might fail at that too!), but he could lie. Unlike Bobby, Jinhwan and Donghyuk.

“Yeah.”

“Then help me put on eyeliner.”

“Yes, master. Should I also massage your feet?”

In an impressive stretch, the smaller man dropped his feet on Junhoe’s knees. He rolled his eyes, a smile betraying his amusement, and actually started to tickle the other as payback.

He ended up half way over him, completely covering his frame, and plopped down.

“You’re crushing me.” A hand (a tiny hand, very cute) shoved at him lightly. “June?”

“Let me stay here a moment.”

He moved a bit to not put all his weight on the other, and just breathed for a few minutes. Jinhwan had put on some cologne, and being so close made his eyes water for a moment.

Even if he was dumb, he could appreciate the family they had all created. To think most of them had only known each other for a year… They’d gotten closer than Junhoe ever thought he’d manage to be with anyone. He guessed the slightly ambiguous nature of all of their relationship helped. No one was ever going to convince him that Hanbin was not crushing Bobby, Yunhyeong, Jinhwan and himself. June had eyes, thank you very much (which was why he wouldn’t be opposed to the older making a move). It felt like their relationship ran deeper than their understanding of themselves sometimes, like they left social norms at the door.

Junhoe didn’t even know who he really was attracted by anyway, but if he were to ask his parents or anyone, he’d marry a nice girl, have two kids, and work hard all his life like a good little boy.

And he knew that was not a future he wanted.

But there again, it looked it might not matter what he wants. Because He.Fucking.Failed his second year of uni.

“You okay?”

“Yeah.”

“huh-uh. Are you not okay?”

“I don’t know.”

“That’s fine.”

A tiny hand caressed his hair, and Junhoe spared the emotional energy to squeal about it in his head. Did he have a size kink or Jinhwan kink? 

“I don’t want to go out tonight.”

“Then let’s get into our pajamas. Do you want to order take out and watch a movie?”

“I… Just because I’m not going doesn’t mean you have to stay.”

Jinhwan turned to look at him, eyes sharp.

“Do you think I’d have fun in a club thinking you’re here moping, alone?”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re dumb.”

Junhoe couldn’t help but flinch at that. Then, he groaned, embarrassed as he teared up. It’s all fun and games insulting yourself until somebody does it too.

He rolled over, turning his back to Jinhwan, dignity gone down the drain as he sniffled.

“June? Are you crying?”

“No.”

“Baby, come on.”

His heart did something when heard the affection term, but he remained stubbornly on his side. JInhwan got up and walked around the bed, but June plopped on his belly, face hidden in the pillow.

“Is it because I called you dumb?”

His silence was an answer enough, apparently, since Jinhwan started to rant.

“Come on, you have to know how not dumb you are. You have to. Who always wins game night? Poker nights? Who guesses endings of books and movies spot on? You know you’re smart. Where does this come from?”

June took a large breath, the confession that he’d failed most of his exams ready to roll out of his tongue, but what left him instead was a shaky sob.

He let himself be manhandled by someone half size as Jinhwan pushed him to the side, face to face with him but above the covers. He wiped his tears, nose touching.

“Tell hyung, babe. What’s going on?”

“I failed my exams.”

“What?”

“I… I’m going to do this year again.”

“… You know it’s something that happens, right? I get that it sucks, but you’ll get over it, if you want to. It doesn’t make you lesser in anyway, you’re more than what you can bring to society.”

“You’ve been spending too much time with Hanbin.” Junhoe took a shaky breath, embarrassed by his small breakdown. “I know, I know I can do this and it’s fine if it takes me longer than most, but right now it really sucks. I just feel so dumb. I had no idea until I opened the letter that told me I’d have to do my second year again.”

“Hey are you read- oh. Uh. Okay. Uh, I’ll leave you to whatever you’re doing?” Hanbin was standing in the doorway, eyes wide and face red. It was cute. He closed the door in a hurry, and Junhoe looked at Jinwhan and they both dissolved into giggles.

“On the bright side, you’re not as hopeless as he is.”

“You know he’s going to think we were doing something else right?”

“Why not prove him right, then?”

What- Junhoe’s eyes widened, looking at the now serious Jinhwan.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Doesn’t have to mean anything though.”

“What if I want it to?”

“Okay. Yeah. Okay.”

Jinhwan hesitated.

“You can also feel this, right? This tension between all of us?”

“Yes. Now shut up and kiss me.”


End file.
